Emotionally Abusive Relationships -
A Terrible Experience

Emotionally abusive relationships are based on pretension. In a relationship, when a partner is purposely not true to his/her actions and words, he/she is emotionally abusing the other partner. Emotional abuse, unlike other forms of domestic abuse, is not easy to detect. Emotional abuse can take place in very subtle forms.

Emotional abuse might take place in the name of guidance, teaching, or advice. Perpetrators of emotional abuse act carefully and provide a feeling of security to the victim. Once the victim starts relying, the abuser controls and exploits the victim, creating an emotionally abusive relationship.

When the victims of emotional abuse discover that their trust has been mishandled, they lose self-confidence and quickly reach a psychological stage of feeling betrayed and frustrated.

In an emotionally abusive relationship, the abuser always creates the emotional environment. The goal of the abuser is to control and exploit the victim based on pretension. The abuser quickly analyses the desires and needs of the partner, and behaves as if they can fulfill all the needs. Then when they don't, they blame the victim.

Some forms of emotional abuse are:

• Helping: The pretext of helping is used in many cases of emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser offers solutions, advice, and financial and emotional support to the victim. The victim feels this is honest help. However, the actual intention behind the assistance is to belittle, control, demean, or gain information on the other person. Slowly the victim becomes dependent upon the abuser and the abuser continues to exploit the victim.
• The Silent Treatment: The silent treatment is another form of emotionally abusive relationship. The silent treatment includes refusing to communicate, refusing to listen, and emotional withdrawl from the victim. As a result, the victim feels lonely, neglected, and irritated.
• Minimizing: Emotional abusive relationships may take the form of "minimizing". Minimizing is a form of denial, where the abuser does not deny your actions directly. The abuser deliberately questions the motivation of your actions, and does not give much importance to your actual activities. The aim of the abuser is to lower your self-esteem and your pride in your achievements, feelings and experiences.

The best way to avoid becoming ensnared in an emotionally abusive relationship is to trust your instincts which will keep your self-confidence at a high level. You must try to be self-dependent. Do not base your actions on emotion; rather, try to judge every situation logically and rationally. You must not take any relationship at face value - rather, analyze it from various aspects.